Yesterday night I had a “oh when will all this end?” moment even though I have just about re-started my journey towards permanent weight loss! I wanted to eat cake and vada and potato bonda and murukku and macaroons, just about all the unhealthy stuff in the pantry. Instead, I had a bottle of water and ¼ piece of a marie biscuit. I repeatedly told myself it was thirst rather than hunger which was the driving force behind the “eat all you can” feeling. I also told myself “a moment on the lips means a lifetime on the hips”.
I do not know when I will be at a weight I am at peace with. There have been so many times in the past when I have calculated that I should lose 3 kilos a month and reach my goal in about 7 months, since I have about 20 kilos to lose. That day never came, because the path was full of self-created and other obstacles. My new motto these days is to focus on each day – plan my meals, motivate myself to exercise, overcome cravings and give myself treats when I deserve them. Rather than the destination, I shall focus on each step. As the Chinese say, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. I hope that each step that I take will be in the correct direction and that if I lose my way, I will be led back to the path of weight loss. For others, having a set date when they should lose weight may work, but my experience is to the contrary.
I have a function to attend today where the food will be predominantly vegetarian. Hopefully there will be healthy options. I am certain that there will be dessert. I am planning to have a big salad before I leave. No dessert today. My resolutions shall not be broken by the mere sight of Gulab Jamun and ice-cream! Come on, I am stronger than that. Again and again I have to remind myself that a moment on the lips, is in fact a lifetime on the hips.
one coffee w/o sugar
3/4 cup poha, 1/2 cup watermelon, 1.5 marie biscuit w/t 1tsp peanut butter, one coffee w/o sugar
salad with apple and cucumber
1 chapathi, 1 spoon fried rice, 1 idiappam, 2 spoons chili gobi, 1 big spoon veg stew, 1 spoon paneer masala
2 murukku, 1 piece cake cut in biscotti style, 4 chickpea size masala balls
45 mins leslie sansone, 65 air cycling, 34 crunches
update:
There were no healthy curries at the function. I didn't have icecream or cake at the function though I ate more portions at lunch than I am used to. Perhaps this triggered the cake and murukku eating in the evening. I am irritated with myself. It looks like I can work only on auto-pilot at functions like this - since I had told myself I won't have dessert, I managed to avoid eating it, even though a piece of cake was handed to me. I held it in my hand for 15 mins but did not touch it, I gave it away to someone else. I think if I had vowed to have only small portions, perhaps I may not have eaten the huge portions and then slipping up leads to more slipping up - in the form of cake and murukku and masala balls in the evening. Why can't I have a normal relationship with food? Aaaargh... throwing up my hands in despair. WHat is the purpose of eating if you feel guilty later on?
I do not know when I will be at a weight I am at peace with. There have been so many times in the past when I have calculated that I should lose 3 kilos a month and reach my goal in about 7 months, since I have about 20 kilos to lose. That day never came, because the path was full of self-created and other obstacles. My new motto these days is to focus on each day – plan my meals, motivate myself to exercise, overcome cravings and give myself treats when I deserve them. Rather than the destination, I shall focus on each step. As the Chinese say, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. I hope that each step that I take will be in the correct direction and that if I lose my way, I will be led back to the path of weight loss. For others, having a set date when they should lose weight may work, but my experience is to the contrary.
I have a function to attend today where the food will be predominantly vegetarian. Hopefully there will be healthy options. I am certain that there will be dessert. I am planning to have a big salad before I leave. No dessert today. My resolutions shall not be broken by the mere sight of Gulab Jamun and ice-cream! Come on, I am stronger than that. Again and again I have to remind myself that a moment on the lips, is in fact a lifetime on the hips.
one coffee w/o sugar
3/4 cup poha, 1/2 cup watermelon, 1.5 marie biscuit w/t 1tsp peanut butter, one coffee w/o sugar
salad with apple and cucumber
1 chapathi, 1 spoon fried rice, 1 idiappam, 2 spoons chili gobi, 1 big spoon veg stew, 1 spoon paneer masala
2 murukku, 1 piece cake cut in biscotti style, 4 chickpea size masala balls
45 mins leslie sansone, 65 air cycling, 34 crunches
update:
There were no healthy curries at the function. I didn't have icecream or cake at the function though I ate more portions at lunch than I am used to. Perhaps this triggered the cake and murukku eating in the evening. I am irritated with myself. It looks like I can work only on auto-pilot at functions like this - since I had told myself I won't have dessert, I managed to avoid eating it, even though a piece of cake was handed to me. I held it in my hand for 15 mins but did not touch it, I gave it away to someone else. I think if I had vowed to have only small portions, perhaps I may not have eaten the huge portions and then slipping up leads to more slipping up - in the form of cake and murukku and masala balls in the evening. Why can't I have a normal relationship with food? Aaaargh... throwing up my hands in despair. WHat is the purpose of eating if you feel guilty later on?
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